


I hate / love you.

by Nic_louise_12



Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Hate, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-22 18:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19969504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nic_louise_12/pseuds/Nic_louise_12





	I hate / love you.

There he sits, crying into himself, he hates what he is doing, Ben has gone MIA, Whitney is excited but Callum.. he’s just numb, he’s done with the games and lying, the faking everything is okay he is just done. He feels sorry for Whitney and guiltily of his late nights with Ben, but he feels anger towards ben, hate because he’s left when Callum needed him the most. He opens his phone and starts to text,

“You said I ain’t worth the hassles? No Ben you ain’t, when you get back don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, I’m telling Whitney everything because it’s right, but us? You? I ain’t got time for you and your games, Callum.”

With that he hits sends obviously regrets it within seconds, then he pulls up his call log and calls Whitney, “Hey, can you come to the flat.. we need to talk” he hangs up and composes himself, he hears Whitney’s key unlocking the door. He stands and tells Whitney to sit, “Whitney.. I love you I do, but this, the wedding, us.. I can’t do it, you deserve better, I hate lying to ya” he cries “Whitney.. I’m gay.. I’m sorry but with everything with dad and stuff I just I’m so sorry”

With that he’s out the door, knocking on the Vic, a concerned Mick opens up “Mick” Callum sobs “can I stay here for a few weeks” Mick opens the door “of course cal come in” they pull up two seats the bar and mick gets a bottle of whiskey bit by bit Callum opens up tells him everything “it’s good that you cut ties with Whit son” he smiles and Callum turns “please tell L and everyone not to mention I’m here, I can’t see her, I can’t see Ben, I can’t see anyone” mick nods and Callum makes his way up to the spare room. Pulling his phone out again he texts Ben

“Just told Whitney everything? Where are you when I needed you? Don’t come looking for me, don’t ask about me.. I might of started loving you but you’ve made yourself clear, bye Ben”

With that he turns his phone off and starts to cry, day turns into night over and over, mick coming up every so often with food and drink and telling him who is asking about him. About 3 weeks passes and Callum hasn’t moved out the Vic In day light, going jogging in the night to avoid everyone, he knows Ben is back, and of course he’s been trying his best to find out where Callum is, but everyone stuck to their word and haven’t told anyone.

One night he is out jogging he stops and knocks at the flat door, Whitney answers “can I come in” he mumbles and Whitney nods once up there Whitney starts “cal I knew something was up, why didn’t you just tell me” she says softly and Callum just sits “because Whitney you’ve been through hell, and I couldn’t hurt you again like that” Whitney sits next to him “but you’ve been hurting yourself, look I’ve had time and I’m happy for you that you told me that you felt like you could, and now I just want to see you happy.. where have you been” she asks worried “the Vic” Callum mumbles she takes his hand “we’re good Callum, I don’t hate you, we’re friends” she smiles and Callum hugs her and with that he leaves again.

The next day, he gets up, showers and throws on a jumper and some jeans and walks down “I can do a few shifts” he calls to Mick who just nods, the day is long but Callum doesn’t mind it, he’s serving people with a smile and a chat, till Ben walks in, they meet eyes and Callum just walks in the back, coming back out he doesn’t go near where Ben is waiting, walks back with a pint and asks for they money, Ben hands over a ten pound note and Callum takes it returning with his change and going to walk away “I got your texts” Ben mumbles still standing with his back to him “yeah didn’t mean them sorry” Ben sighs “I love you to y’know” and in that moment Callum feels all the hate again and with that is round the bar and pinning Ben up against the Vic door.

Ben laughs “just like the first time.. loverboy” Callum’s heart races, that warm feeling he gets when he’s around Ben, knowing that he didn’t have to hide, loosens his grin on Ben and kissing him, Ben stills but soon eases in to it “your a dick” Callum mumbles after the kiss breaks, “I’m YOUR dick” Ben laughs back, Whitney cuts in “I’m so happy for the both of you” she hugs Callum and smiles at Ben “thanks Whitney, whatcha all drinking” Ben nods over at the table and with that is buying them all a drink. 

Later that night back at bens after some serious hate (on Callum’s part) and make up (on bens part) sex, they both lie naked against each other Ben looking up at Callum “and suddenly it all falls into place” Callum smiles like a idiot “no more hiding, no more lying” 

“Just us”


End file.
